Too Much of a Good Thing

I apologize for the lag in blogging, but I will make up for it now with a lovely journey into the soft-ripened cheeses category. What, might you ask, are soft-ripened cheeses? If you don't want to know the answer, shut down your computer before I pollute your mind. Otherwise, get ready for some good times!

Soft-ripened cheeses are those that are soft on the inside but have a rind on the outside, like Brie and Camembert. The reason for the rind? Mold. Tasty, lovely mold by the name of Penicillium candidum. Unlike most cheeses, which harden with age, these cheeses actually get softer in the middle.

I remember the first time I ate Brie. I was a teen and I was doing something in Washington D.C. and I put some Brie on a cracker, rind and all. Some girl sitting by me was shocked and embarassed for me that I ate the rind, and for years after that I thought that I was just some weird little hick who didn't know proper cheese etiquette. It turns out I was right THE WHOLE TIME! It's OK to eat the rind on these cheeses, because it's part of the cheese. (But if you get a big hunk of gouda or something with a three-inch thick waxy covering on it, I would not consume the wax. But that's just me.)

So, I went to Whole Foods to purchase the cheeses for my tasting party, brought them home, and assembled them on a plate in hopes that I could take a lovely photo. Well, my hopes were shattered. I'm sorry you have to see this.

                            (The things in the middle are dried apricots, in case you're wondering.)

I think that may be the least appetizing picture in the history of food, but the food itself was quite tasty. At the top of the plate, you have Brie. Here's the thing about Brie: it's soft, it's creamy, and it tastes rich and buttery. If you eat some of the rind with it, you get a little bit of a nutty taste thrown in, too. I would say that this is probably the least weird of the three cheeses on the plate. And, here's the best part of all: DOUG LIKED IT! My head almost exploded when he told me that. It wasn't like he ran to the fridge to nibble on it or anything, but he liked it enough that he didn't hate it.

In between tastings, a bite of apricot to cleanse the palate. And now, on to the next cheese:

Moving counterclockwise, you have a lovely chunk of Camembert. Brie and Camembert are very similar in texture and general taste. However, the big difference is that while Brie is smooth and buttery, Camembert has some deeper, earthier flavors. On first taste, I didn't like the Camembert as much, but it grew on me. Again, the rind adds a little more nuttiness and earthiness.

Another apricot.

The final cheese is the one at the bottom of the plate, St. Andre. Here's what I have to say about this cheese: GO FIND SOME! I don't care that it's 12:28 a.m. Mountain Standard Time or that your closest grocery store only sells Velveeta. Find this cheese! Demand this cheese! Get yourself on a plane (or a bus) to France and purchase this cheese, if that's what it takes!

Here's why it's so good: St. Andre is what is called a "triple creme" cheese. This means that, during the cheesemaking process, cream is added to the milk, which makes the fat content at least 75 percent. After I took my first bite of this cheese, I thought I was in some magical creamy place, floating around on a fluffy, cheesy cloud of joy and goodness.

Doug thought it was just OK--I immediately banished him from my cheesy cloud.

This cheese was all I could think about all day. It was yummy, yummy stuff.

Anyway, that day I was overjoyed with all of my tasty cheese selections. But there was a down side: I had about a pound of cheese that I had to eat all by myself. Doug wasn't helping much, and these soft cheeses don't keep for very long. After about two days, the Brie started to taste like a home perm, and so I had to throw a lot of it out. I tried to keep eating the St. Andre for a few days, but it also lost its magical taste before I could finish it all.

The Camembert, however, stayed true to the end. For my last eating, I spread it on a bagel and ate it on the way to work. The earthiness was nice, but not too overpowering, and unlike the other cheeses, it actually tasted better than it had in the beginning.

Lesson learned: Get smaller pieces of cheese (or get more people to eat it).